good at dreaming

I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately. When I was younger I could control my dreams a lot. If I wanted to wake up I could fall asleep:

1) Example: On the upper playground at Fullerton IV Elementary, I got tired of the playground BS and fell asleep next to the 1st grade building, on top of this weird grate, right next to the water meter.

Or jump off of something:

2) Example: I was riding with my great grandparents to a doctor's appointment for my grandpa. It was really bright and sunny, the sun was blazing through the trees as we drove to the office. We arrived and all got out of the car and my grandparents went in to the building and I stayed outside to look over the edge of the big deck/platform the office was on. It was a long ways down and there was sun and a waterfall and trees and ferns and I decided to jump. I don't know why I chose to leave this dream- I guess I didn't want to have to sit in the waiting room.

I was also so ridiculous I could sometimes tell when I was dreaming and I would tell people in my dreams just that. 'Hey! Hey, guess what! This is a dream. I'm dreaming! Did you know that!?' I don't remember at all what they ever said back to me.

As I got older I stopped having these kinds of dreams. I became more of a bystander, and that kind of control was rare (if I even remembered it). I've always loved dreaming. I've heard a quote that goes something like 'You know you're in love when reality is better than your dreams...' but GUESS WHAT, I am SO in love but lately I've been treating my dreams like hella vacations. 

I think it started with this dream and a discussion about it with a #1 customer at work some months later. That discussion got me reading about astral projection which is soooo sooo crazy person woo woo and interesting (maybe I believe in it... why not?!) and I'd love to go into it here but don't have the energy to do so. Ever since all of that discussing and reading, before I go to sleep I get excited about what the night is going to bring.

I've been trying to be better about remembering my dreams in hopes I can better connect with my dream world- aka, maybe blur the lines a little bit between my dreams and waking life in an attempt to regain the 'consciousness' and control I had when I was younger. 

A few nights ago I was able to wake myself up. It was a dream I was having about Hannibal Lecter: He was being kept on a 7x7 square mile ranch, secluded, under top security. He had a ranch house, and off in the distance you could see another, older, run down house with the windows broken out and ghosty drapes blowing in the wind. There was one really big window, a window to a room where he had done a lot of dirty things. People asked why they didn't demolish the building since no one lived there and such awful things had taken place, but that's why it stayed. As part of his 'rehabilitation,' groups of people could come and visit the ranch for a tour from Lecter himself. Some friends and I decided to go out and see him. We rode with him and an armed guard all around the ranch. When it was time to leave and we were saying our goodbyes I said something really sassy to him (I wish I could remember what it was now) and immediately thought, SHIT. I shouldn't have said that... but he was just as nice as ever and said he would LOVE for us to come back again to which the guard replied NEVER come back here, never get within 7 miles of him no matter what he says. He headed back off to his ranch house and my car had turned into an old white pickup, I think maybe the same one that sits in front of my house now. We couldn't get the doors of the truck open and started to panic. Hannibal had come out of his house by this time and was walking back toward us- that's when we REALLY started to panic. We finally got the truck doors open but then it wouldn't start. Everyone started piling in the cab but I didn't make it- I thought about jumping in the bed but he was so close I jumped on the hood instead. The driver started speeding down the gravel driveway and I held on to either side of the cab window with all my might, trying to stay to my left so the driver had a clear view of the road. Hannibal had jumped in the back of the truck and was swinging at me over the cab- and that's when I somehow, dream-magically, kicked him in the face with my black nappa leather boot. POW! I saw the connection and the look on his twisted red face. He didn't budge though and looked really mad. That's when I got scared and thought, okay! Time to wake up now! And then I did.

There are places I dream about repeatedly. Last night I had a dream about my old house in Ladd's Addition, but it's never really the way my old house looks, I just know it's the old house. In the dreams of the house before last night there is always a part of the house that I don't like, it feels weird and haunted and I never want to visit it. Twice I was reluctant to visit but finally did, it's a weird space which has a bed and a strange balcony overlooking the living room. Last night I had a dream about this place again, and felt the same haunted feeling, and told the people I was with in the house- I've been here before! I've dreamt about this house before. And when we went upstairs into the weird space Tara was there, she was staying in the bed and there was a new addition from previous dreams- a little kitchen, and she was baking some kind of delicious cookie bar. So knowing I had been there before, the familiarity, was another holla back to my younger days. Either before or after this in the dream I was driving. It was pretty gray out. I got the same feeling again, feeling haunted, this whole dream was haunted actually (there were other places I went and things I did, too). It started to get overwhelming so I thought to myself, better wake up now! As I thought this things around me started to get fuzzy and shake, but I changed my mind- NO! Stay! And things got clear again.

Can I just say I am so excited I am bringing this back, I can't wait to find out where all my dreams will take me, maybe all of our astral projected dream-selves can meet up and have a party!

Tell me about your dreams, please! Where do you go? Do you remember them well? Can you control them? Dreams! Just the best!

<3