latin HEAT

WELCOME! 

Apparently I'm the LA Fitness Latin Heat EXPERT because this post gets a ton of hits from people who are googling 'latin heat la fitness' or 'is latin heat at la fitness the same as zumba?' or some variation of that phrase- and I just want to say, usually YES! 

But sometimes no. I live in Portland, OR and there have only been a couple of times when Latin Heat was lacking heat (har har). Yes, it is typically similar to Zumba, even the same in a lot of cases. But don't take my word for it! You should definitely try it out for yourself, get a pass, go with a friend, try a few different instructors to find someone you like. The story below is my exaggerated first experience, don't let it scare you. ;)

Late this summer I decided it was time to get back into a gym routine. I like the idea of getting outside for exercise... but the truth is, when it's warm and nice out, I'd rather lie in the park and nap or read than do something exercise-y. Yes, this includes BIKING, HIKING, and SWIMMING, which most people don't necessarily consider exercise-y... just fun. Those are certainly fun things, don't get me wrong, but I am really just THAT lazy during the dog days. Sits & sleeps, please. Oh, and a drink. I've found the only way I can really get motivated is if I ... get ready... wait for it... go to...

THE GYM.

Uh huh. I said it. THE GYM. I'd rather be burning calories inside a building than out of one. Believe me, I've tried all kinds of things to trick myself into thinking running outside is the same as running on a treadmill, but it just won't work. My body feels differently, and my brain knows better. So. After shopping around for the best price I could find on a place that: doesn't require a hefty membership fee, has a short term or non-existent contract, and is close to my house- I settled on LA Fitness*. It's about $36 a month. And even though it's located underground where I am sure I will be trapped when The Big Earthquake comes, it does the trick. Here is a story about my first Latin Heat class.

-------------------------------

One of the things (besides the nice price) that really lured me into LAF (LAUGH, HA!) is the free classes. By 'free' I mean 'included in my $36 a month.' Sweet deal.

There was one class I was ESPECIALLY excited to try:

That's right, LATIN. HEAT. I've taken Zumba a couple of times before- it was fun, and I was assuming 'Latin Heat' was just another name for 'Zumba' which is maybe a name LA Fitness can't use because it's copyrighted or something...? I don't know. But this was unlike any Zumba class I've taken... and not in a good way. But maybe that depends on who you ask.

Things started out okay. I came in a few minutes early and was greeted by the instructor. We will call her 'Ashley.' 

I look alone here, but rest assured there were several other ladies joining us that day.

Ashely looked like a real 'girlfriend,' aka a real G. Read: perkiest boobs ev, long blonde hair, back for days draped in baggy track pants and some tight tank top with a neato geometric design splashed all over it. She had on a headset and so much make up you would think maybe she was worried about being stranded without it for a few weeks.

Things started out okay. G jams blasted through the room: Shakira, Gaga (is this hot latin music?), Black Eyed Peas.

Ashley kept saying things like 'You girls look soooooooo hot! You're doing great!' I'm used to hearing the latter in aerobics classes, but the former was just a tad bit creepy... maybe it was just me. Then, when introducing a new move: 'ALRIGHT LADIES, this is one my faaaaaaaaaaaavvvvorrrrrrrrrrite moves! This is the move that Britney does in that one video... have you seen it?!'

No, I haven't seen it, and I don't want to. I'm not sure what Britney Spears has to do with Latin Heat. Maybe it was just that this was supposed to be a sexy class, and Britney's moves are sexy? She wouldn't stop mentioning that name. I looked around to see how everyone else was reacting...

... it was like every girl was living out her secret stripper fantasy. I felt a lil vom come up into my mouth. Then, Ashley exclaimed: 'OKAY NOW. THIS is the move you girls are gonna take to DA CLUBZ!"

That was the moment I lost all faith in LAF's 'Latin Heat' classes.

Latin Heat = awkwardness and shame.

(But yoga is nice. Mat pilates is ESPECIALLY nice, and the step classes are great, too!)

*In the past I have sweat at and greatly enjoyed Mt. Scott Community Center, but since I've moved to the NE it's just not realistic for me to drive that far. Also, I'm saving about $10 every three months by being a member of LAF, and classes at Mt. Scott would have been extra. Ten dollars every three months may not sound like a lot, but that's like going to an extra movie at Laurelhurst every 30 days. Get real.