pal party: part 9

After two long weeks, we are back to our regularly scheduled programming. Thank. Good. Ness.

JESS MARIE PORQUEZ

(aka Jessars, Porqs, Porqchawp)

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"LOVE... MAKES YOU HIGH. I WISH I HAD A BALLAD TO BREAK INTO RIGHT NOW."

(read more about this WONDER WOMAN after the jump!)

Jess and I met through a mutual friend last spring. Before I knew it she was moving in to our Ladd's Addition palace, and before she even carried a box in the door, my HEART! You know how some people put you through a 'you must get to know me before I am warm and a pal' period? Jess ain't down with that shit. When you first talk to her, you feel like you have known her forever- she is kind and sweet and you want to pull her close and NEVER LET HER GO. I don't think anything really prepares you for it. She makes you smile and laugh and feel comfortable about every dirty little thing you might confess: pitiful Facebook stalking, eating a burger AND fries AND cupcakes AND a BLT AND poutine AND ice cream AND mac n cheese ALL IN ONE DAY, or maybe that time you switched the tags at Goodwill so you could get that $2 tshirt for $.99. Sweetheart. It was pretty hard for me to find a perfect quote from Jess because I l-o-v-e EVERYTHING that comes out of her mouth. She is perfectly witty and well spoken and has some of the best little thoughts of all time. This girl. Get to know her!

Lady of the Labradorite.

STATS

FULL NAME: Jessica Marie Porquez
HOMETOWN: Peekskill, NY
SLEEPS: by the sea

FREQUENTLY CAUGHT EATING: soup, pistachio macaroons, cheeeeese mm
WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD: showing up too early to the orgy

I miss my moon snuggle honey sister baby.

WOULD YOU RATHER SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT ARMS OR LEGS? WHY?

Arms. Then I could learn to do amazing things with my only my legs/feet, like drive and write and eat and tickle. And if people seem disgusted by me eating with my toes it is totally within the realm of reason to make a scene, liken said person to scum and probably get a free meal out of the whole thing. Also if I am being chased (ah) I am still able to run away, which is key.

YOU ARE SITTING DOWN FOR YOUR MOST FAVORITEST MOUTHWATERING MEAL. WHAT IS IT?

MM. Delish soup and fresh bread with tzatziki and gigantes, followed by Parmigiana or Moussaka or some delicious eggplant dish. Lots of dips for bread. Heads of roasted garlic and an array of olives and cheeses. Rice pilaf. Mango lassi and fancy fruit and honey for dessert. Friends and loves abound.

TELL US THE MOST SURPRISING THING ABOUT BIKING ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

Being mistaken for the Insane Clown Posse--in morbid seriousness--in Southern Illinois. Never saw that coming. I am simultaneously delighted and offended/sad about the whole ordeal. But mostly delighted.

Also: Nothing needs to be refrigerated. Not ever, really. Effexor underwear is magic. Strangers are weirdly, exceptionally kind and generous. Had this not been the case it would have been a very different trip, and nowhere near the infinite amount of fun.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SUPERPOWERS? 

My breasts can tell when it's raining. And I can cure my own hiccups (fo' real, every time).

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED FOR?

As being the oldest performing professional flamenco dancer in the US (this is likely the direction I am headed, watch out!).

&&&

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Our day started out normal enough. Coffee and snacks at Grand Central.

BUT LITTLE DID WE KNOW...

The rides at Oaks Park are not locked. Not now anyway. Probably not ever. Except for the carousel, which was the only thing on SERIOUS lockdown, the park was OURS.

Still beautiful, even without legs.

What should I do?

BE THUNDEROUS.

SEXUAL.

Spun us til I almost vommed.

I don't know if you noticed, but Jess rode her bike across the country with another amazing lady, Anne Conners. Not just for a good time, TO RAISE AWARENESS AND MONEY FOR CANCER RESEARCH. Are you serious, a real live saint! When Jess wants to do something, she does it. She quit her job, jumped right into planning, and a month and a pair of sexy padded bike shorts later, she was off. No kidding around with this lady, I (along with hundreds of others) was continuously impressed by the updates and stories of her strength, humor, and unfaltering good spirits. The two of them inspired countless people on their journey, even if we couldn't all be there with them. This girl is a real treat! She moved to the coast so our snuggs these days are few and far between, but not a day goes by that I don't think about her. Loves for a ev.

<3